52. HOW TO AVOID SHOOTING YOURSELF IN THE FOOT

A reader's much appreciated comment has created a wake-up call. I have withdrawn a number of sensitive posts, delegating them to 'draft.' Thank you CS.

Anger, feelings of betrayal, confusion, and sheer loneliness, can lead to one's frustrated flailing, where intoxicated, as if possessed by parasites, you loose all sight of rationale. Nothing seems to matter more than the tantrum aired. Any animal in distress reverts to abhorrent behaviour.

foolhardy |ˈfoōlˌhärdē|adjective ( -dier, -diest)recklessly bold or rash : it would be foolhardy to go into the scheme without support.
I previously visited and mulled over the above definition. Sound reasoning tells me to listen to all who continue to remind me I do not stand a hope in hell of getting anywhere.  Why is it then that I feel compelled to fight? Why can I not just swallow the essence of this reality? 
"It would be foolhardy to go into the scheme without support."
scheme |skēm|nouna large-scale systematic plan or arrangement for attaining some particular object or putting a particular idea into effect. 
"without support" ('foolhardy' - 'scheme' - no 'support').  So, without 'support,' it would be 'foolhardy' to even challenge the 'scheme.' 
Ergo: Since my 'support' is nigh on zero - no bucks, jurisdictional disparity while self-representing in the Capitol of the Country, up against the most well-integrated in the system, WHO do I think I am fooling?  ______________________________________________________________________________ 
This motivates me to reflect on a more all-encompassing resolution of an individual's behaviour.After opinioning I was in the Third Act of my life (as I related it to a full-length play), a friend of mine who recently found me on Google after some 53 years, now in his eighties, felt he was in his 4th Act!   
There, already, was a simple, yet entirely new take on the concept of existence itself. At times, in conversation, en passant so-to-speak, I might mention that as one of the last born colonialists (i.e. Indonesia in 1939) while still in a jungle prison camp in northern Sumatra, at six, in late '45, I did not realize until early adulthood that both H-bombs at Hiroshima, as well as Nagasaki, while exterminating tens of thousands, in fact had saved my life.  
I am positive that the acute awareness of  'the moment', as I continue to live its 'present,' will continue to be a major factor to how I sense and behave in 'time'. Although these days an accepted philosophical factor (Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of Now"), while I was growing up with that attitude to time, and the 'here and now', and how that was all there was when you are a starving child, I was severely reprimanded for it in my early adulthood (sixties).
At the time, the system was still entrenched by focusing on the 'lay away plan' for one's latter years. i.e., it was 'irresponsible' NOT to have that thinking be the overall incentive to life.The world has now caught up, and indeed, we have ALL become vulnerable. All of us now suffer from that realization there is NOTHING that can be taking for granted! ANYTHING could happen at ANY-time, and put us all out of our collective misery.
SO, with this posting, I am taking HEED of the recent warning/ alarm as indicated by "CS." I again state a caring and appreciative: "Thank You."  I will be more general with my uploads; I will try to reach out to see if I can find 'Support' that may help to, possibly, become conducive to positive change, in a more gentle, less confronting manner.
heed |hēd|verb [ trans. ]pay attention to; take notice of : he should have heeded the warnings.
I think "HE" just did!