307. What matters - Who cares - Why bother?

views@21,165

I'm in a quandary!

I was ready to quit this at 21, 000 'HIT-views.' When I arrived at the number I thought about shutting it down.  These mostly self-indulgent utterings have been my views on life. 'Why' had I primarily been doing it? Was there a certain satisfaction in knowing there were 'readers,' even if I did not know who they were and never heard from them - i.e. YOU?

So I assessed my feelings about deleting it, and queried how I would make better use of my time.
I had some time ago been assured by 'Google' that "NO" it was not their automatic traveling online BLOT fooling me in to believing there were actual HUMANS reading my expressions. They assured me REAL people were literally visiting the blog.

Admittedly, after my six years indulgence with the Legal System, to literally discover it to be self-servingly corrupt (I do not use this word lightly), I am these days, on the whole, in a somewhat empty and quite somber state of mind - especially with what is transpiring in USA politics, and globally in general.

I 'm beginning to wonder?  Has technology sufficient hold on the common man to have disrupted all sense of belonging? With the power structure controlled by a relatively small group, we are far more than shooting ourselves in the foot.  Has 'we' indeed become a runaway train, destined for doom?

And there I try to continue to be a focused, go-getter optimist entrepreneur - getting NO-where. So far, each time, when confronted with setbacks, I manage to overcome and soldier on, always  remembering my hurdles are puny, compared to the problems of most.

Still the latest project, with all my will power, endurance and belief in good Timing, I am somehow failing to bring to fruition.  I just know what the product needs to be, but for the life of me, with millions of web-developers out there, working with the latest developer, again, just did NOT work out. Left brain V. Right brain, we just speak different languages.  And as a not sufficiently productive harmonious team, I severed my relationship.

So what's going on here? Is it all ME? If so, WHAT is my problem?

You're 'OLD' school Dad. You expect too much! Are you serious, I ask? You do not feel a product should function as close to perfect as you can make it? Don't you demand it from your car? You're OK with a leaking roof? Come on now, let's be serious here. I refuse to go out there half-cocked.

Which is, in fact what it is, at present. Formatted in Joomla, the back-end Admin is a nightmare! It needs to be fully customized, user-friendly, easily administrated. That's it; no excuses.

I have tried a bunch of the online services looking for a capable PHP developer. They all want an arm and a leg + MORE.  So, QUESTION is? With all the hype out there of working together (Angel List etc) WHERE to go to find a knowledgable, trustworthy team-player ?

If anyone reading this has an answer? >>>>> Please get in touch!

With appreciation,
Yours > Truly!